Tuesday, May 13, 2014

The Van and I

I have spent more time than I ever dreamed in a Dodge Sprinter this past week. It’s pretty much a large delivery van that I bring people their groceries in. Among other things it's good for looming over cars and SUVs, exploring the city, and parking illegally while making deliveries.  Seriously, I can’t tell you how much joy it gives me to double park, block alleys, hang out in fire lanes, and park in front of hydrants, all in the name of groceries FOOD.

Side effects of this job include having lots of time to ponder things, which is excellent since I like to live in my head. Recently, I accepted and began to honor the side of me that is bold and speaks. Doing so has opened the door for me to be successful at city driving in the big ol’ van, if we want to be obvious about things, but I’ve noticed internal shifts that go along with it. For starters, I am not afraid to speak up and put limits on my time spent at work, as I’m a lady of leisure and highly value having space and time. I can say enough, delineate the semi-permeable membrane of my boundaries, and respectfully stand up for myself while understanding and responding to business needs.

More importantly though, I no longer feel shame when men holler at me or are rude about my appearance. Instead, I find myself responding to the objectification. I have a voice and, when I feel physically safe, will use it to speak against a culture I often encounter that places excessive value on my appearance and ignores my voice as a woman. I read a spot-on blog post here and am appreciative of the woman who wrote words to the thoughts that have bounced inside of me. I have a desire to be respected and appreciated as a woman, as a human being.

While I put my foot in my mouth often enough and don't really play well by the "rules," this boldness is empowering and feels more “me.". It’s a continuation of the process that began last fall of reconnecting with and reintegrating my feisty inner five year old, and the result now is that I am less reactive and more conscious and precise with my voice. It feels good to honor and cherish an integral part of myself while constantly learning how and when to speak.

Oh, the things you'll think while doing home deliveries.

Parallel parked the SketchMobile. The one I've been driving has logos on it, thankfully.

I'm a sucker for brick, trees, and quaint architecture. I'm loving where I live, I just wish it were further out from DC.

I've gotten into the practice of beautifying with fresh flowers.

Naturally, I'm reading things that involve food and drink
and writing this all from a bangin' coffee shop near my house
while thinking about where I'll go to eat because I'm hungry.

 Speaking of food, thank you Yelp for guiding me to dinner while I was out doing deliveries near Baltimore.
It was exactly as described, a large shack in a strip club's parking lot.


No comments:

Post a Comment